Sir, you can't beg for money AND be listening to your iPod...

Hi, hello, bonjour. I would say more, cause with my incredible linguistic prowess I know "hello" in at least one other language, but they say comedy comes in threes...and three is my favorite number...AND three just has a nice rolling, list-y quality to it. See like, three blind mice or three little pigs or three double vodka sodas before I'm willing to have a threesome. There's just an ebb and flow, you get it. Annnd now you're leaving. Two sentences in and you're leaving. It's fine. I understand. I prepared for this as a child by sewing and being odd. For those of you still around to watch the train derail and implode, you may notice it's been a while since I last wrote in here. You may think, "Hmm, I wonder what he's been doing since then," or "Gee, I hope he catches us up on things." To you, I say nuh uh, nope, sorry boutcha. Reba already summed up the in-between when she sang that song "Fancy" about my life, so we startin FRESH, y'all. We talkin Whataburger fresh! Mmph! If you don't get the southern reference....lawd I sure hopes you find out someday. Alright, enough with this precursory bull honkey, let's get a move on.

Facts:
My name is Colin. I am an actor. 3 months ago I moved to New York City. I you ask me if I am on Broadway while I am serving you french fries, I will punch you in the face.

This blog will be as ambiguous in it's entrapments as Lindsay Lohan's vagina, possibly including but not limited to the following: images, offensive quips and outbursts, rants, self-pity, badly done video montages, successful and failed attempts at humor, successful and failed attempts at eliciting a response, trashy pop music, lies about my weight, riddles from taffy taffys, self-buildup, reviews both stolen and original but always presented as the latter, raps heard from my gangster neighbors, short stories, gross poetry, quotes from fortune cookies and dove chocolates, catty comments overheard at auditions, and last but certainly not least, lots and lots of narcissism.

Yayyy! Ok, so I hope you feel just like we're old friends already, even though we're not so please don't touch me if we meet on the street, but I am very, very excited to start on this little journey with you all and just see where the blogosphere may take us! (I know you can't see me right now, but I just did one of those Irish bellhop dance moves. I mean mentally. I mentally did one of those Irish bellhop dance things.)