Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries

Never have I been more ready mentally and emotionally to be in a relationship and never has my life been less suited for such an existence. To a fault I've always been about my work taking first priority, and those who have come along for the ride have accepted that or moved on. By no means do I want to move my goals and efforts to attain them down the totem pole now, or ever, but rather I do feel like I'm finally willing to share that time and find that energy within myself to devote to another living, breathing human being. As things are, I'm in Austin for 2.5 more months and after that I'm in Europe for an open ended 2 month stint and then after that, who knows. I have ideas, strong feelings and vague plans, but it's hardly a lifestyle conducive to maintaining a relationship, let alone starting one...and yet these are the times I want so much to share with someone. Selfishly I want someone to be there as I try and navigate my way through this transitory period, someone I can call and tell and question about the most wonderful or awful new adventure i've just had and them listen with a genuine interest that exist if for no other reason than for the fact that it's me telling it, but transversely I want to be able to be that person for someone too, maybe even more so than I want it for myself. I joke so much about being cold and heartless, wanting to be young and single forever, but few things could be farther from the truth. Certainly I have my moments where those things are very real, and then more often I have moments where I need those things to be true just to keep the skin thick and unscathed. I have so much love to give that I have this awful habit of hiding it away for fear that it won't be returned...Blech, this all looks very melancholy in type, and yet I mean it more as a matter-of-fact statement than anything resembling a pity party. I'm surrounded by the most incredible friends and in the last 3 months alone have had some of the most amazing experiences of my life, so I certainly will not claim to be lonely or alone, but if the circumstances were that at the end of the day I came home and was able to crawl into bed and exchange heartbeats with my best friend...well I probably wouldn't complain too much about that either :)