Winter's on the Wing

Per usual in my case it's been a hot second longer than intended since I jotted a thing or two down in this diddy. Things have been racing a long at such an incensed pace I can't believe it's nearly March already. Finally this week things slowed just ever so slightly and of course my immune system took that as full permission to crash big time, so as I sit writing this the trashcan next to me runneth over with snot infused kleenex that despite their aloe and extra softness seem to have taken a large amount of the skin from my nose with them.

Macbeth came and went and with it my full-blown Irish beard and long hair. A very different experience on many levels but one that I walked away from having grown and learned. It was fun to carry a sword and pretend to be cool every night too! By far the gayest cast I've ever been a part of. Something about a large group of straight men fighting together...gay.

Auditions have been a constant and the feelings following have ranged from "omg i'm going to Broadway" to "omg i'm going to be sweeping broadway for coke cans to make a nickel". A couple more are left on the calendar, and then I should start hearing back around mid to late March from most companies so...we'll see. Trying to stay optimistic without getting my hopes up for anything in particular.

Found out earlier this week that I'll be making my NYC Singing debut on March 8th at the famous cabaret theatre "The Duplex"! Hopefully I can bounce back from this nastiness and get everything together for it in time. Sutton Foster who just got done starring as Fiona in Shrek on Bway is coming to watch, so that'll be fun. I'm just pumped to sing in the city for people who aren't my classmates! :)

A couple more really exciting things in the works before Spring is out but...more on those as they come to fruition and details get worked out.

Now that it's happening it's hard to believe I'm winding things down here, and more and more I find myself lost in a battle of where I want to go and what I want to do. It's difficult not to look at things as hard and fast and forever. I'm constantly reminding myself that if I choose one thing I don't have to choose that forever, but reminding and believing aren't always the same. There's the inner-chatter that says seeking Option A means giving up on Option B and letting down a certain number of people, but it works the other way too. I know the part near the end shouldn't matter, but if you know me at all, you know it does. It's a give and take of personal and career, which is also very personal, of a million tiny adventures or a few big ones and really just a few very different lives. Even as I re-read these words back I can't help but laugh at my youth and naieveity about it all, but thus is life and all I can do for now is keep taking one step forward and "readying" myself for the whatever path divide approached.